Monday, April 12, 2010

Hitting,... Ouch!

About two weeks ago our little sweet funny girl started hitting. Well I guess the first time she did it was over a month ago. I remember it distinctly. She was getting into the pantry. I picked her up and said no, and she slugged me in the chin. I was stunned, one that someone so small could hit so hard and two that she was doing it period. I immediately held her out from me, and she went in to bite me. Again stunned. Now on a daily basis she is hitting either just me or both Jason and I. She's generally frustrated when this occurs so it's not like she's just coming up and hitting us. Although last week when she had a little friend over, she hit her little friend to. Her friend is only 8 months old and can barely stand so it's not like she could hit back, oh and of course I remember now that she also hit someone in her baby class last week and at story time. Dang. I have a hitter.

Who me? Hit??? You have it all wrong, Mama!

Now how could such a sweet little angel develop this behavior?? How? Seriously, do you know? My husband and I don't hit each other. We've never hit Tesla. We don't hit other people. What is the deal?  We don't have a yelling household, we don't fight, and we're generally pretty happy.

I of course started researching this, the What to Expect the Toddler Years folks have this behavior appearing around 20 months and that it could be: (amongst other things)
  • Low impulse control, hit hit hit.
  • To much pint up energy, suggestion give them something to hit, pillow banging toys. Run them around more. 
  • Reaction to frustration. "Mama is mean for not letting me have [insert anything] and there for I will hit her over and over again." 
So what to do. Well no matter what it's caused from,  I have to do something. It's actually starting to hurt and I do not want this behavior to continue. One of these days she's going to get frustrated with a little tike and belt them one and that's not going to go over very well.

What am I doing now? I am working on more activity. Tesla actually takes two naps a day that last two hours. So it's not as if she's not getting tired, but perhaps this aggression can be curbed by running around more, and actually getting the aggression out of her.  Today for instance, we had our dancing and singing class, and then when we got home we played soccer and ran all around the house. She hoops and hollers with excitement when she kicks the ball.

We're also going to try some timeouts. WHAT??? I know I know, she seems to young but I have been reading this blog about organizing, and parenting in general, I asked the writer for advice. I like her style of parenting, doesn't mean I'll do everything that she does but I enjoy reading her blog and getting new ideas for home. Anyway, she said that she's not to young. In fact she wrote about putting her one year old in time out. You can check out her blog here. She said that you put her in port a crib with a few toys and let her sit there for 1 minute. She said that if I do this after a dozen or so times she'll learn that she doesn't want to hit Mama. So we're going to try it. Yikes, I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but again, as I rub my jaw, the hitting has to stop. I just need to get the port a crib back from my mom and we'll give it a go.

I'll let you know how it goes, in the mean time, please feel free to leave a comment and let me know how you stopped hitting or your thoughts.


  1. This is most definitely a phase, we've gone through it with both of our children.

    We have tried time outs and although they are difficult (we sit our son on the bottom step of our stairs, so we have to stand there to make sure he doesn't get up), it does seem to work after MANY time outs!

    The hitting, I believe, is a control thing. They don't have the words yet to explain what they want or why they are frustrated, so their natural instinct is to resort to hitting. Don't worry, it truly has nothing to do with what you or your hubby are doing.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes!

  2. Hi! You stopped by my next of the wwwoods with the ubp, and I'm finally returning the favor! :) What a fun blog!
    I had to laugh when I saw you've talked with Lazy. Me too! Love her. A little extreme, maybe, but love her anyway.

    So - yeah! Timeouts are great for that age. I know it seems little, and might seem at first like they don't get it. They will, though. Toddlers are smart, smart, smart little animals, and they'll conform eventually. Especially if you're:
    a) consistant.
    b) only save it for the "important" stuff.
    c) give her lots of loves and attention throughout the day.
    d) use your good mommy-intuition judgement.

    That said, parenting toddlers can be rough! Good luck!!!

    PS: Just be glad she's not biting. ;)


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